Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Already_Dead

Offline (yesterday at 5:50pm) | Search for a member

Already_Dead

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 204
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Already_Dead's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:27pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:15am<b>BrainStew27</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:28pm<b>RaiderKid1999</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:24pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:15am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 8:58pm<b>drshn</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:54pm<b>JadeBOOHYAH</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:58pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:48am<b>specialist8404</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:25am<b>oonincxs</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:55am<b>redneck_mechanic</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:29pm<b>zerstinick</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:20pm<b>sjbartholome</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Axel5238</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 9:01pm

Already_Dead's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Already_Dead's badges

Already_Dead's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (3857)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99761) - you deserved it (11650)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (8041)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43752) - you deserved it (3174)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

#14389923
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by loneliness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (9446)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

#7256153
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11275) - you deserved it (53001)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML

#3069493
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50998) - you deserved it (5357)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by groom (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (2815)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106043) - you deserved it (8239)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: