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AlphaNumeric1515's FML badges
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AlphaNumeric1515's favorite FMLs
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Love
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML
by Awkward / 04/25/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML
by fatcat117 / 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love
by stolen / 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML
by SickandTired / 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm / United States / Animals
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
by alex / 03/14/2011 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous