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Alpaca_BAMF

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Alpaca_BAMF
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 665
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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Alpaca_BAMF's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (5474)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (3219)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (4633)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (2196)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11116) - you deserved it (52519)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

#20443594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9287) - you deserved it (22040)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

#20441192
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (1693)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm - misc - by millavitsa - Ukraine

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (3147)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48604) - you deserved it (4371)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (2070)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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