This member hasn't filled in their description.
Alpaca_BAMF's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Alpaca_BAMF's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Work
by Gracie-Ann / 07/01/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Neveragain / 07/01/2013 at 1:49am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML
by theyre not THAT big. / 07/01/2013 at 12:35am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML
by readytoamputatemyfeet / 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML
by thefuck / 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm / Ireland (Cavan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by foreversingle / 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
by BimmerDriver / 06/30/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by okeythen / 06/30/2013 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Love
by unfortunate / 06/30/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by TooYoungForThis / 06/30/2013 at 12:36am / Canada / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…