Alpaca_BAMF

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Alpaca_BAMF

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7699
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Alpaca_BAMF's page activity

Visits<b>lfgiraffe</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:39pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:43pm<b>jane00</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 6:53pm<b>ohdannyboyy</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:35pm<b>flames57323</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 9:26pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:58pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:10am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:23am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:45am<b>ArtinHopar</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 12:02pm<b>downzi104</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:28am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 7:39pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 2:54pm<b>RZW</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:53pm<b>sparkin</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 2:53pm<b>elmassapilo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:49pm<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 8:03am

Alpaca_BAMF's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Alpaca_BAMF's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

by insurance lies / 07/08/2013 at 10:48am / United States / Health

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

by Not Mrs Soprano / 07/08/2013 at 7:57am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2013 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

by tastetherainbow / 07/07/2013 at 6:55am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

by lostmystuff / 07/07/2013 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

by nomorenakedpicsplease / 07/07/2013 at 1:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

by yum / 07/07/2013 at 1:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

by good big sister? / 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Vermont) / Kids