Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alpaca_BAMF

Search for a member

Alpaca_BAMF

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1288
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Alpaca_BAMF's page activity

Visits<b>lfgiraffe</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:39pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:43pm<b>jane00</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 6:53pm<b>ohdannyboyy</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:35pm<b>flames57323</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 9:26pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:58pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:10am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:23am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:45am<b>ArtinHopar</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 12:02pm<b>downzi104</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:28am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 7:39pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 2:54pm<b>RZW</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:53pm<b>sparkin</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 2:53pm<b>elmassapilo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:49pm<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 8:03am

Alpaca_BAMF's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Alpaca_BAMF's badges

Alpaca_BAMF's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45361) - you deserved it (5084)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30111) - you deserved it (45155)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51455) - you deserved it (20748)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (6487)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42608) - you deserved it (5739)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52965) - you deserved it (4367)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48411) - you deserved it (4579)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (3146)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43594) - you deserved it (4888)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

#20771134
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40121) - you deserved it (2465)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm - work - by NathanA - United States (California)

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (4543)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

#20771105
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm - animals - by Zoey_M - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (4553)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: