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AlmightyZamorak

Offline (the 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm) | Search for a member

AlmightyZamorak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 262
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AlmightyZamorak : Do you even English, bro?


I game. A whole lot. My life revolves around Battlefield and World of Tanks.

AlmightyZamorak's page activity

Visits<b>Askzombie</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:24am<b>mimihuseen_</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:10am<b>CelticKing</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:05pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:35pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:15pm<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:52am<b>coopchick</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:27am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:55pm<b>derpina15</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:23pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:12pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:51am<b>ALegitOreo</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:54pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:01pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:24pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:35pm

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AlmightyZamorak's favorite FMLs

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

#21272079
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (11502)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by eh - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43995) - you deserved it (16394)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (8154)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46854) - you deserved it (4134)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39791) - you deserved it (4088)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (2965)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (9921)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (4276)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47152) - you deserved it (4775)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50932) - you deserved it (7141)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45446) - you deserved it (8847)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54377) - you deserved it (6705)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46309) - you deserved it (10490)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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