Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AllyyK

Search for a member

AllyyK
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 607
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AllyyK : Just ask.

AllyyK's last visitors

Waspinator1998a_nnnuhSillyGirl4602georgemacBroadway_VayneworldclassragerSoninuva

AllyyK's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of AllyyK's badges

AllyyK's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

#20004612
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (1857)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by kklaucen14 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (2644)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML

#19020583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (1681)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:14pm - money - by oceangirl - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

#18875593
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19389) - you deserved it (7703)

On 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm - love - by Scumbagmemory (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (33442)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31834) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

#18825467
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18448) - you deserved it (2847)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (13543)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (49608)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17714) - you deserved it (2655)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

#18790783
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12876) - you deserved it (22016)

On 01/12/2012 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

#18788734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13222) - you deserved it (28025)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

#18788616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (2320)

On 01/12/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (31851)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: