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Allysmo

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Allysmo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 216
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Allysmo : "This is 5'10 of pure AWESOME!!!"-My twin

Allysmo's page activity

Visits<b>crackmore278</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Zombotic_Kitteh</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 5:14pm

Allysmo's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Allysmo's badges

Allysmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46519) - you deserved it (7049) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (4195)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (5009)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

#19583870
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39565) - you deserved it (4209)

On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (3320)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (94193)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, for our last kid-free dinner before the birth of our 4th child, we chose a Japanese hibachi restaurant. They sat us with a family with a toddler, who started screaming at the first flame trick, causing the chef to cease to do anything entertaining. FML

#15267511
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28927) - you deserved it (3966)

On 03/10/2011 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (9881)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52123) - you deserved it (7850)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45715) - you deserved it (2450)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (77964)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48889) - you deserved it (2207)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)



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