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Allusivness

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Allusivness

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 834
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Allusivness : Derp.

Allusivness's page activity

Visits<b>TheSovietOnion</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:43pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:49pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:40pm

Allusivness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Allusivness's badges

Allusivness's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17545) - you deserved it (25733)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35447) - you deserved it (2967)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (4560)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43264) - you deserved it (7358)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (2570)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47563) - you deserved it (5390)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (2244)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41622) - you deserved it (21410)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40542) - you deserved it (13603)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (3466)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46035) - you deserved it (26241)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47097) - you deserved it (4129)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

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