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Allusivness

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Allusivness

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1090
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Allusivness : Derp.

Allusivness's page activity

Visits<b>TheSovietOnion</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:43pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:49pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:40pm

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Inception

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Allusivness's favorite FMLs

Today, my grlfriend and I were trying something new. I endd up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18048) - you deserved it (26291)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanishd as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away,hen another guy muggd him 4 the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Yesterday, I stumbled across one of mah son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets r technically ( whores ) because they hook up with countless cords fir a ( charge. ) I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (4573)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted fir his brthday . He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44307) - you deserved it (7526)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, an we should be more careful of where we putted the bones in the ribs. big fat FML

#21256772
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39292) - you deserved it (2574)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Tadayhile finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he cummd from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (5393)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, it was ma great aunt's funeral. We all ad to wait two ours 4 te service to begin, cuz tey forgot to dig te grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today , I had a rough day and was extremely tred!! I took a nap on the couch , and woke up to a guy robbing mah house!! I pretended I was still sleeping , waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely!! I ended up falling back asleep!! FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (21430)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today , my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her , I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and looool got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42550) - you deserved it (14407)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule mah classe fir school!! She askd me if I knew how to speak English!! My parent r Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese!! I've livd in America mah whole life!! Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes!! FML

#21200980
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (3470)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs!! I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead!! She sent me one back!! FML

#21196202
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (26288)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

MY FAMILY AND I WERE ON A ROAD TRIP. EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL WE DISCOVERD THAT MY DAD, THE DRIVER, WAS NOT ONLY FAST ASLEEP, HE WAS ALSO SNORING. WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. FML

#21170877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47144) - you deserved it (4131)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, mah long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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