Allornone

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Allornone

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AllornoneAllornone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8520
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. Eventually, I will die. In the meantime, I lurk on FML.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>RichardPencil</b> - yesterday at 2:02am<b>lizzypacker</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Bquillero16</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:45am<b>Ni_knight_mp</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 8:19pm<b>AdorableDave</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:24pm<b>jupiterdjay</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:47am<b>kintoki25</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:41am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:27am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 9:44am<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 1:04am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:47pm<b>angiesluvstacooo</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 8:31pm<b>UUUHQ</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 7:35pm<b>TheGamingNirvana</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 4:30pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 2:27pm<b>nonsensical</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 12:14pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:55am<b>fitnessgram</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 7:56am

Fucked!<b>Mons</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:51pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 3:05am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Spudnik</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 9:54pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 4:32pm<b>mycockforpussy</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:32am<b>pancakebunny</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:55am<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 1:53am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:01am<b>koink</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:42am<b>Rotciv01</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:08pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Grisha</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:43am<b>XandWacky</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 9:11pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:09am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:24am

Allornone's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

by ironik970 / 09/17/2011 at 2:56am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it for "tax reasons." FML

by The_Taxman / 08/20/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML

by Tireddddddd / 07/31/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

by illenram06 / 07/11/2011 at 11:37am / Philippines (Roxas) / Love

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids