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Allornone

Offline (the 05/28/2014 at 3:19am) | Search for a member

Allornone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2280
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : "I know i was born; I know that I'll die... -vedder

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>dyazdani0720</b> - 22 hours ago<b>neeni88</b> - yesterday at 2:36pm<b>packrat</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:08pm<b>delhh</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:45am<b>shufflyn</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:14pm<b>naynay3214</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 7:07am<b>fandoms_unite</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:45pm<b>cailey1234567890</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:01pm<b>Gurnir</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:21pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:04am<b>lizardFace</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:14pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 2:18am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:54am<b>tpm45</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:05pm<b>samfate</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:43am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:12am<b>Becca_Bear_98</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:58am

Allornone's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

#6630317
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41492) - you deserved it (4529)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87368) - you deserved it (14603)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

#5579779
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39877) - you deserved it (1848)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by egged (man) - Singapore - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60547) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (4929)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to me crying because he was sexually harassing her at work. When I told her I'd intervene, she told me she'd handle it. I guess she certainly did. FML

#5192617
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (1948)

On 09/11/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13370) - you deserved it (42521)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57112) - you deserved it (17188)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57112) - you deserved it (17188)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

#3973803
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55216) - you deserved it (7918)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

#3613617
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45635) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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