About Allornone : "I know i was born; I know that I'll die... -vedder
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56617) - you deserved it (3641)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53316) - you deserved it (2576)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (2127)
On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5923) - you deserved it (22700)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (25733)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (2286)
On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33788) - you deserved it (3502)
On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (2184)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74963) - you deserved it (10598)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (1278)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by egged (man) - Singapore - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53902) - you deserved it (2055)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (3689)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to me crying because he was sexually harassing her at work. When I told her I'd intervene, she told me she'd handle it. I guess she certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (1602)
On 09/11/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97125) - you deserved it (23454)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97125) - you deserved it (23454)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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