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Allornone

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Allornone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3028
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : "I know i was born; I know that I'll die... -vedder

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>BlankSteve</b> - yesterday at 11:36pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:24am<b>mjnelson</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Fluttershybrony</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:58am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:39am<b>btob143</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:22pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Nexoux</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:58am<b>schwaka</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:14pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:08am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:57am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:09am<b>jerryj</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:20am<b>PokeZilla</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:42pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:38pm<b>stepherz89</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:03am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Thoms34</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:48am

Allornone's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2149)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (8487)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

#18782915
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:35am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

#18761652
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14164) - you deserved it (33744)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41597) - you deserved it (2232)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

#18725965
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (2036)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm - health - by aylla - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (87470)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34867) - you deserved it (5508)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (7017)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51716) - you deserved it (4787)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (9217)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it for "tax reasons." FML

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34770) - you deserved it (9626)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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