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Allornone

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Allornone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3411
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : "I know i was born; I know that I'll die... -vedder

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:02am<b>17031990</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:06am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:30am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:47am<b>danis</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:01am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:54am<b>MamaZombieCakes</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:09am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:01am<b>Hawk42</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:24pm<b>missloud</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 4:09pm<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:36pm<b>mjnelson</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Fluttershybrony</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:58am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:39am<b>btob143</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:22pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Nexoux</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:58am<b>schwaka</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:14pm

Allornone's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (3871)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

#19692066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11134) - you deserved it (16986)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:24am - love - by stalked (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

#19692066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11134) - you deserved it (16986)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:24am - love - by stalked (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (30674)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (2693)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (2429)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9329) - you deserved it (17889)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8808) - you deserved it (37141)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30300) - you deserved it (1975)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (1729)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (4375)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)



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