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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6138
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>blackfire20</b> - yesterday at 12:57am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 7:47pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 8:25pm<b>RoastCity</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:03pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 5:45pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:20pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:29am<b>Huodang2</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 7:39am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:07am<b>MassiDelta</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:34pm<b>anythingrandom</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:37am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:39pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:16pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:48am<b>constipation</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 7:23pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:48pm<b>klawzor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:40am<b>lovethatstach</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Renee4Echelon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm

Allornone's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (53174) - you deserved it (6915)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46883) - you deserved it (3488)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47458) - you deserved it (4784)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35906) - you deserved it (7201)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45413) - you deserved it (16814)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34231) - you deserved it (13180)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36372) - you deserved it (2868)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (18071)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (3500)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16560) - you deserved it (29568)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17990) - you deserved it (32676)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43607) - you deserved it (4313)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39580) - you deserved it (3717)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

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