About Allornone : "I know i was born; I know that I'll die... -vedder
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16772) - you deserved it (1813)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16770) - you deserved it (1677)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States
Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7274) - you deserved it (14397)
On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (1314)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12184) - you deserved it (1077)
On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (1514)
On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (1762)
On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19435) - you deserved it (4743)
On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (1515)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)
Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (6559)
On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (1577)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (23081)
On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (1564)
On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
