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Allornone

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Allornone

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5380
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:00am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:49pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 9:20am<b>ldonnahee</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:47am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:16am<b>Llamunkey</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:04pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:15am<b>PinkiePiePony</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:37am<b>bobjope</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:11pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:42am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:40am<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:57pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:14am<b>schall_suono</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:16am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:27am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:24pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:29pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:41pm

Fucked!<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Renee4Echelon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:13pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:37pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:58pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:23pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:32pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:03pm

Allornone's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42110) - you deserved it (15756)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (12968)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35165) - you deserved it (2766)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32629) - you deserved it (17784)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (28839)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (31624)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (4236)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (3647)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (4340)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (5332)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (1512)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (2696)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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