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Allornone

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Allornone

41Fucked!

AllornoneAllornone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6636
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. Eventually, I will die. In the meantime, I lurk on FML.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:50pm<b>catsbeforeyou</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:13pm<b>oasis359</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:13pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:05am<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:32am<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:35pm<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:52am<b>ajahchenae</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:51pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:08am<b>LonelyLulllaby</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:45pm<b>lukian</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:32pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:11am<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:37am<b>panromantic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:33pm<b>AnagenisisZagus</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:52am<b>samwilliams800</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:57am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:57am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:21am

Fucked!<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:05pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:21am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>Sirin</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:29am<b>mnurfles</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:05am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:32pm<b>nitros15</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:01am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:51pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:45am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:48pm<b>klawzor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:40am<b>lovethatstach</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm

Allornone's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63809) - you deserved it (4929)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49390) - you deserved it (5277)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58304) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45929) - you deserved it (7089)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61420) - you deserved it (3699)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48620) - you deserved it (3747)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48131) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58700) - you deserved it (4964)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63731) - you deserved it (5876)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51611) - you deserved it (24931)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48556) - you deserved it (9474)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53198) - you deserved it (8930)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53765) - you deserved it (4018)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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