Allornone

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Allornone

56Fucked!

AllornoneAllornone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7508
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. Eventually, I will die. In the meantime, I lurk on FML.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>larouche362</b> - yesterday at 2:46pm<b>Maximusmime</b> - yesterday at 5:45am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:32am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 10:35pm<b>TheTacoMan</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 8:13pm<b>moonlight77</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:31am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 7:36am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:58pm<b>mycockforpussy</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 1:23pm<b>pancakebunny</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 7:06pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 5:45pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:45pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:58am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:29am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 6:23am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 12:56am<b>jow96</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:15pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 10:32pm

Fucked!<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 4:32pm<b>mycockforpussy</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:32am<b>pancakebunny</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:55am<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 1:53am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:01am<b>koink</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:42am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 4:17am<b>Rotciv01</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:08pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Grisha</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:43am<b>XandWacky</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 9:11pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:09am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:24am<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:05pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:21am

Allornone's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

by allykat / 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

by fartbucket51995129565 / 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

by Shady_Soldier / 10/31/2013 at 4:41am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

by D: / 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm / Miscellaneous