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Allornone

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Allornone

41Fucked!

AllornoneAllornone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6630
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. Eventually, I will die. In the meantime, I lurk on FML.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:50pm<b>catsbeforeyou</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:13pm<b>oasis359</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:13pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:05am<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:32am<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:35pm<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:52am<b>ajahchenae</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:51pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:08am<b>LonelyLulllaby</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:45pm<b>lukian</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:32pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:11am<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:37am<b>panromantic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:33pm<b>AnagenisisZagus</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:52am<b>samwilliams800</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:57am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:57am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:21am

Fucked!<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:05pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:21am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>Sirin</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:29am<b>mnurfles</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:05am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:32pm<b>nitros15</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:01am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:51pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:45am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:48pm<b>klawzor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:40am<b>lovethatstach</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm

Allornone's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

#21511987
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (1869)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:48pm - misc - by Pithegreat (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

#21487156
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (1568)

On 11/01/2015 at 11:22pm - animals - by time to buy a gun - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

#21483477
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (2286)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:41pm - misc - by haunted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29281) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

#21460549
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (1753)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40676) - you deserved it (2461)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
98 comments

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30771) - you deserved it (5438)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (2631)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55139) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

#21169704
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49931) - you deserved it (6626)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50793) - you deserved it (5843)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)



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