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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Allie26

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Allie26
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 342
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Allie26's favorite FMLs

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (1456)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721 (605)

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (2429)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the mature woman I had a one-night-stand with six weeks ago, is six weeks pregnant. I'm 21, she's 52. FML

#8658990 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (9262) - you deserved it (27068)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Capt_Hammer (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (2470)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (14765) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (17387) - you deserved it (9060)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (5735) - you deserved it (32956)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (1666)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiance and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

#6423121 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (17464) - you deserved it (4040)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by bleh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML

#6373189 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (14754) - you deserved it (3459)

On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (17652) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (20476) - you deserved it (3866)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

#6293828 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (32731) - you deserved it (1596)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)