Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alicestraza

Offline (41 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Alicestraza

129Fucked!

AlicestrazaAlicestraza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5155
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - yesterday at 12:20am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - yesterday at 11:48pm<b>zjay</b> - yesterday at 9:36pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:46am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:55pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:30am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:41am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 1:37am<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:19am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:06am<b>vegemute</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:50am<b>noelperez1791</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:58am<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:15am<b>Holijust</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:34pm<b>ninthfirewings</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:29am<b>validatethis</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:05am<b>Cameron257</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:27am

Fucked!<b>zjay</b> - yesterday at 3:36am<b>noelperez1791</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>cccook1547</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:34am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>hun3y206</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:05am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:30am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:01am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:46pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:09am<b>Cayers97</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:34pm<b>Megatron_Griffin</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:35pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:07pm<b>AK7186</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:24pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:43am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:52am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:12am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:47pm

Alicestraza's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44540) - you deserved it (7942)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

#20683433
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (41913)

On 05/24/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by obnum - United States (New York)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44708) - you deserved it (5997)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44582) - you deserved it (5533)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44582) - you deserved it (5533)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (3080)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32205) - you deserved it (23776)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41491) - you deserved it (7168)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

#20654207
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44288) - you deserved it (8162)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49537) - you deserved it (5290)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65299) - you deserved it (14650)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (69748)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50526) - you deserved it (8176)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32887) - you deserved it (113146)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56828) - you deserved it (4825)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: