Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5552
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>munzapoppa</b> - 24 hours ago<b>missmorggan</b> - yesterday at 10:36am<b>boostedc</b> - yesterday at 6:44pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:29am<b>Jayjaybeastly</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 1:18am<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:30am<b>juice_33</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 1:16am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:42pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:33pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:12pm<b>phoenixx22</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:26pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:37pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:03pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:33pm<b>ntal001</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:04am<b>FaizSiddiqui</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:27am<b>LexiD19</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:20pm

Fucked!<b>juice_33</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:32am<b>abby1212</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 10:37pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 5:33am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:51am<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 6:29pm<b>missycanfly</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:19pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:15am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:42pm<b>kreesan</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>zoulou48</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:41am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:36am<b>noelperez1791</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>cccook1547</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:34am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>hun3y206</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:05am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:30am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:46pm

Alicestraza's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (66914)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML


I agree, your life sucks (56218) - you deserved it (9895)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (7521)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68408) - you deserved it (5919)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41401) - you deserved it (5711)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50253) - you deserved it (19300)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50570) - you deserved it (2770)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47799) - you deserved it (4784)

On 06/29/2013 at 4:02am - love - by bubblegum92 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50999) - you deserved it (7201)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62210) - you deserved it (4101)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63006) - you deserved it (39073)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (5452)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm - misc - by ineedbetterfriends (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: