Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alicestraza

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

Alicestraza

46Liked!

AlicestrazaAlicestraza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3029
  • Number of comments : 235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>kyranstar</b> - 5 hours ago<b>oldmanringo</b> - 7 hours ago<b>danm19</b> - 8 hours ago<b>swarm20</b> - 8 hours ago<b>mhb210</b> - 10 hours ago<b>medic8</b> - 16 hours ago<b>davetherave1983</b> - 17 hours ago<b>gavdarv</b> - 22 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 24 hours ago<b>scottyboy417</b> - yesterday at 3:18am<b>24jfred</b> - yesterday at 12:46am<b>Lct1196</b> - yesterday at 10:49pm<b>annarcheer</b> - yesterday at 10:38pm<b>whinthy</b> - yesterday at 10:22pm<b>pratikp03</b> - yesterday at 9:10pm<b>ckibb97</b> - yesterday at 5:55pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - yesterday at 4:29pm<b>martini47</b> - yesterday at 2:52pm

Liked!<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:28pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:32pm<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:34pm<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:19am<b>toxicLover28</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:33pm<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:51pm<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 4:32am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:55am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:00am<b>pvtatha</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:15am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 5:57am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:56pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 2:04pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:38am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:50pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:55am

Alicestraza's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49132) - you deserved it (5460)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (6020)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (7897)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64998) - you deserved it (6592)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48623) - you deserved it (9369)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

#20802373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45712) - you deserved it (7471)

On 07/25/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49315) - you deserved it (27557)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56213) - you deserved it (11991)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41734) - you deserved it (9028)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (3541)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (7618)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50224) - you deserved it (3699)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53678) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54681) - you deserved it (17038)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: