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Alicestraza

Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member

Alicestraza

127Fucked!

AlicestrazaAlicestraza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5076
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>Holijust</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ninthfirewings</b> - 22 hours ago<b>validatethis</b> - yesterday at 12:05am<b>Cameron257</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:27am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:53pm<b>cccook1547</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:34pm<b>sherbear78</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:33pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:52pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>python199</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:16am<b>FireDemon_101</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:13pm<b>hun3y206</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:05am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:29pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:21am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:05am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:54pm

Fucked!<b>cccook1547</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:34am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>hun3y206</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:05am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:30am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:01am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:46pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:09am<b>Cayers97</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:34pm<b>Megatron_Griffin</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:35pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:07pm<b>AK7186</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:24pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:43am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:52am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:12am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Holijust</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:22am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:03pm

Alicestraza's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50671) - you deserved it (4418)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48931) - you deserved it (4933)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70945) - you deserved it (9359)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

#20817315
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47503) - you deserved it (2917)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:58pm - misc - by fuck people (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52004) - you deserved it (11241)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

#20813928
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (44809)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (8238)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51534) - you deserved it (5733)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44042) - you deserved it (6215)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46887) - you deserved it (8256)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65334) - you deserved it (6614)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50193) - you deserved it (9613)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

#20802373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45923) - you deserved it (7492)

On 07/25/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50307) - you deserved it (28087)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56495) - you deserved it (12036)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)



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