Alicestraza

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Offline (the 12/30/2015 at 7:22pm)

Alicestraza

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AlicestrazaAlicestraza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7227
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:36pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 12:49am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 1:19pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 7:42pm<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:43am<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 5:06pm<b>I_Like_Boobs</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 4:56am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:52am<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 9:19am<b>frankmz</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 1:44am<b>ZeroDark30</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 7:27pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:10am<b>Weemandarin</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:30pm<b>Robby2448</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:56am<b>shjoh</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:59am<b>Ezellianna</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 6:33pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 5:21pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 12:38am

Fucked!<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:10am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 3:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:53pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:35am<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:03pm<b>pd2902</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:36am<b>juice_33</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:32am<b>abby1212</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 10:37pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 5:33am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:51am<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 6:29pm<b>missycanfly</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:19pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:15am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:42pm<b>kreesan</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>zoulou48</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:41am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:36am

Alicestraza's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm / Work

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

by lostinspace / 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

by happyturtle / 09/01/2013 at 5:57am / Croatia / Intimacy

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

by fucking financial ruin / 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

by Nanana32 / 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

by -__- / 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous