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Alicestraza

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Alicestraza

9Liked!

AlicestrazaAlicestraza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1981
  • Number of comments : 232
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Alicestraza : Most of my time is spent studying or playing games, feel free to talk to me about both. 😄
💖💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>laylamarianna</b> - one hour ago<b>Bulldozer36</b> - 2 hours ago<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - 4 hours ago<b>rkdstp1995</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - 8 hours ago<b>tiwan</b> - 9 hours ago<b>iHiccupBS</b> - 14 hours ago<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - 16 hours ago<b>RapFan21</b> - 17 hours ago<b>sju91</b> - 20 hours ago<b>flux_panic</b> - yesterday at 2:19am<b>badnelly123</b> - yesterday at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - yesterday at 9:46pm<b>bps315</b> - yesterday at 9:45pm<b>Ari3l</b> - yesterday at 9:07pm<b>totallybananas</b> - yesterday at 6:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 6:13pm<b>jenkelo</b> - yesterday at 5:51pm

Liked!<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - 10 hours ago<b>sju91</b> - 19 hours ago<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:56am<b>MrCareless</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 7:37pm<b>laylamarianna</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:48pm<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:55am<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:33am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:22am<b>zachali21</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:21pm

Alicestraza's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49852) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I went to get my hair done. The hairdresser managed to catch my eyebrow piercing in his comb and almost rip it out. I now look like I have a gunshot wound on the upper right hand side of my face. I'm getting married in a matter of hours, and I still had to pay £100 for the hair cut. FML

#20831030
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (13406)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:55pm - misc - by ouchbrow (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (4886)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50449) - you deserved it (4461)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50324) - you deserved it (4395)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48488) - you deserved it (4901)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67178) - you deserved it (8849)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

#20817315
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45626) - you deserved it (2779)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:58pm - misc - by fuck people (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51691) - you deserved it (11172)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

#20813928
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (43025)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47324) - you deserved it (7981)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49050) - you deserved it (5452)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42549) - you deserved it (6012)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44606) - you deserved it (7884)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland



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