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Alicestraza

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Alicestraza

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1596
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Alicestraza : .

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>lela12344</b> - yesterday at 3:53am<b>Han1156</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:20am<b>tfrogjump</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:40pm<b>burninsnow</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:48am<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:55pm<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:10pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:01pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:06am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:58am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:17am<b>nothemother</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:23am<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 4:28pm<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:31pm<b>ItsInTheBrain</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:02pm<b>jmx14</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 4:35pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:09pm<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:41pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:21pm

Alicestraza's FML badges

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Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (89963)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55733) - you deserved it (4414)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43517) - you deserved it (5033)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42724) - you deserved it (3361)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52027) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (26753)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43310) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49786) - you deserved it (5428)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33951) - you deserved it (5103)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I went to get my hair done. The hairdresser managed to catch my eyebrow piercing in his comb and almost rip it out. I now look like I have a gunshot wound on the upper right hand side of my face. I'm getting married in a matter of hours, and I still had to pay £100 for the hair cut. FML

#20831030
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (13331)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:55pm - misc - by ouchbrow (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (4882)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (4437)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50235) - you deserved it (4388)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48388) - you deserved it (4894)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67018) - you deserved it (8839)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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