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About Alicestraza : Most of my time is spent studying or playing games, feel free to talk to me about both. 😄
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML
Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML
Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
Friday 21 November 2014