About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Alicestraza's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML
by pissed / 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm / United States / Money
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML
by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by nemesis5196523 / 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
by yulis / 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
by Anonymous / 11/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (Texas) / Health
by holy sleet / 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm / Argentina / Health
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by this guy / 11/21/2013 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Love
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by cantcloselegs / 10/20/2013 at 8:39am / United States / Health
by mathgenius / 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…