Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alicestraza

Online | Search for a member

Alicestraza

91Liked!

AlicestrazaAlicestraza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3904
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>TheBeast26</b> - 2 hours ago<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - 20 hours ago<b>FloWPs</b> - yesterday at 5:58am<b>khoov19</b> - yesterday at 12:45am<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:24am<b>BAC49</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:07pm<b>sb4331</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:53pm<b>creativityisnt</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:17pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:07pm<b>PITSB</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:31am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:23am<b>TJJOE</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:45am<b>SamBeast</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 2:28am<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:27pm<b>iNewKid</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:38pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:56am

Liked!<b>khoov19</b> - yesterday at 6:45am<b>creativityisnt</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:17am<b>SamBeast</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:32am<b>JayVicious</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:15am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:53am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:43pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:25am<b>RainEliseWolf</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 2:46am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:04am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:28pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Jamesypoo2</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 5:32pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:36am<b>bigjake</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>lilcuz69</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 10:34pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 10:33pm

Alicestraza's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43056) - you deserved it (3253)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (6787)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43517) - you deserved it (12907)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (6722)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41571) - you deserved it (4484)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (55714)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49918) - you deserved it (4035)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34533) - you deserved it (5281)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44127) - you deserved it (5659)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44498) - you deserved it (7882)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38992) - you deserved it (7492)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: