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Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5851) - you totally deserved it (16963)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21209) - you totally deserved it (1067)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3705) - you totally deserved it (12192)
On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you totally deserved it (1646)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15171) - you totally deserved it (3722)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you totally deserved it (2382)
On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2624) - you totally deserved it (17463)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15730) - you totally deserved it (2181)
On 11/10/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by ClosetMishap (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you totally deserved it (3450)
On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you totally deserved it (2776) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, on facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to "How can Dan have over 500 facebook friends? Nobody even likes him" there were 42 likes, and twenty comments that said "agreed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you totally deserved it (7462) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by notliked (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. At school I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4832) - you totally deserved it (21976) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you totally deserved it (1695) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7976) - you totally deserved it (24358) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
