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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Alice_Cullen7

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Alice_Cullen7
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3536
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Alice_Cullen7's favorite FMLs

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (15632) - you deserved it (4163)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML

#8445794 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (1541)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (22544)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5177) - you deserved it (39109)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (7521)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

#7014697 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (4549)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (12641) - you deserved it (7672)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

#6992051 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (4407) - you deserved it (14304)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by Spac3Ghost (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (1703)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (1181)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (16246)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8628) - you deserved it (31910)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (15879) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (3849) - you deserved it (19672)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)