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AliceLockehart

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AliceLockehart
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About AliceLockehart : - Alice
- 20
- The Red Paintings
- Vegan (Not one of the crazy in your face ones, I promise)

So if you're reading this, I'm assuming you must be real bored. Well, go be bored somewhere else! Go on, shoo :)

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AliceLockehart's favorite FMLs

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6731) - you deserved it (37128)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (5481)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15601) - you deserved it (2840)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

#19879190
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17829) - you deserved it (1888)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (29436)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (1692)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (1692)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3812) - you deserved it (29384)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (1890)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)



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