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Ali_Br

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Ali_Br

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6849
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid,So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;)I'm an undergrad. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot)I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.I like French, and am currently studying it in college (AT LAST) so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating, or the people on this site. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>benjamins39</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:06pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:06am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:32am<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:20am<b>dsw144</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:37pm<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:17am<b>yarginsoffle</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:39pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:11pm<b>Danaalo</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:52pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:29pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:10pm<b>manchilla_17</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:55am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:36pm<b>Lovemybabies</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Respect101</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:41pm<b>elephantsarecute</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:12pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you deserved it (2433)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (15572)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (3079)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (6044)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36809) - you deserved it (8061)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36809) - you deserved it (8061)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (7373)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34208) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (10583) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52205) - you deserved it (4394) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23879) - you deserved it (5630)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

#15183432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (52507)

On 03/03/2011 at 3:32am - intimacy - by LLCoolBean (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

#15098131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (8824)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)



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