Ali_Br

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Ali_Br

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8453
  • Number of comments : 525
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid,So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;)I'm a college graduate. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot) I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.I like French, and finally got to study it in college, so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:54am<b>testtest2</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:02am<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 9:38pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:17am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:31pm<b>rustybucket</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:39am<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:22pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:04am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:40pm<b>gsouther</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:15pm<b>nockels</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:55pm<b>luvyou521</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:31am<b>raven83</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:40am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:59am<b>landonkoon</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:33am<b>TeddW</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:50pm

Fucked!<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:13am<b>luvyou521</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:19pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

by Username / 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

by pirsquared / 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

by ohgawd / 10/08/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

by Hairytoes / 10/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2011 at 5:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

by scared / 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy