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Ali_Br

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Ali_Br

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6940
  • Number of comments : 492
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid,So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;)I'm an undergrad. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot)I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.I like French, and am currently studying it in college (AT LAST) so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating, or the people on this site. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>drayloon</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:51am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:23pm<b>spokdexter</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:53pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:06pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:06am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:32am<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:20am<b>dsw144</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:37pm<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:17am<b>yarginsoffle</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:39pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:11pm<b>Danaalo</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:52pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:29pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:10pm<b>manchilla_17</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:55am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:36pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (7419)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

#19597798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (1915)

On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (3257)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (2579)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (5822)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

#19001319
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (3092)

On 02/05/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by CaityLovesBo - United States (Washington)

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (3228)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48455) - you deserved it (8154)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (3028)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

#18934570
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19271) - you deserved it (5995)

On 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (2629)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (31880)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (3361)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58645) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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