About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid, So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;) I'm a college graduate. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences (especially since I write a lot.) I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie. I like French, and finally got to study it in college, so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories. (Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)
Ali_Br's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Ali_Br's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML
by PurplePanda_1927 / 07/07/2016 at 10:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by stuck / 06/12/2016 at 1:59am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by lifedownthegutter / 05/18/2016 at 2:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to 'break it up' with a gloved finger, and then he sent me home with directions on how to administer an enema. I do not recommend trying to give an enema to a kid that doesn't want one. FML
by anon mom / 05/11/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Ace / 03/31/2016 at 10:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by tooembarrassed / 02/12/2016 at 10:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by LD / 01/23/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML
by shitty candles / 12/01/2014 at 2:30am / United States (Washington) / Money
by FuglyBetty / 11/13/2014 at 11:44am / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
by ThatNewCarSmell / 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by paywithpoop / 06/22/2014 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by seriously? / 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
by lifesabitch2016 / 05/24/2014 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are… Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless… Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm…