Ali_Br

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Ali_Br

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8660
  • Number of comments : 534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid, So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;) I'm a college graduate. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences (especially since I write a lot.) I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie. I like French, and finally got to study it in college, so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories. (Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>Idiot_Penguini</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 7:37pm<b>ActuallyDavid</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:25am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:54am<b>testtest2</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:02am<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 9:38pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:17am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:31pm<b>rustybucket</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:39am<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:22pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:04am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:40pm<b>gsouther</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:15pm<b>nockels</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:55pm<b>luvyou521</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:31am<b>raven83</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:40am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:59am

Fucked!<b>ActuallyDavid</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:25am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:13am<b>luvyou521</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:19pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML

by stuck / 06/12/2016 at 1:59am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, the lawn I've been devoting all my efforts to saving from a nasty grub infestation isn't going to make it, but apparently the grass I noticed growing in my gutters is doing just fine. FML.

by lifedownthegutter / 05/18/2016 at 2:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to 'break it up' with a gloved finger, and then he sent me home with directions on how to administer an enema. I do not recommend trying to give an enema to a kid that doesn't want one. FML

by anon mom / 05/11/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

by Ace / 03/31/2016 at 10:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

by tooembarrassed / 02/12/2016 at 10:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

by LD / 01/23/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

by shitty candles / 12/01/2014 at 2:30am / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

by FuglyBetty / 11/13/2014 at 11:44am / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

by ThatNewCarSmell / 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

by paywithpoop / 06/22/2014 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

by seriously? / 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

by lifesabitch2016 / 05/24/2014 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

by gircos / 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love