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Ali_Br

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Ali_Br

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6910
  • Number of comments : 492
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid,So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;)I'm an undergrad. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot)I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.I like French, and am currently studying it in college (AT LAST) so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating, or the people on this site. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>drayloon</b> - 9 hours ago<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:51am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:23pm<b>spokdexter</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:53pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:06pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:06am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:32am<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:20am<b>dsw144</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:37pm<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:17am<b>yarginsoffle</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:39pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:11pm<b>Danaalo</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:52pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:29pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:10pm<b>manchilla_17</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:55am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:36pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45375) - you deserved it (3515)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

#21153696
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (6993)

On 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by seriously? - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41783) - you deserved it (4988)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41954) - you deserved it (6573)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (8503)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (7309)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34654) - you deserved it (12570)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42222) - you deserved it (3057)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

#20802578
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49715) - you deserved it (3542)

On 07/25/2013 at 6:55am - misc - by chumpslolo - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (5838)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48975) - you deserved it (11610)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45643) - you deserved it (5860)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49206) - you deserved it (13921)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29826) - you deserved it (3454)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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