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About Ali_Br : I'm an undergrad.
I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?
I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot)
I try not to be a grammar Nazi, but sometimes it's difficult. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.
I like French, and am currently studying it in college (AT LAST) so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.
My profile says as much as I want to give away. Yes I have FB, and yes the pic is the same, so yes I am a real person, but it is set to private because my FB life is different from my FML life.
Laughter makes the world a happier place...
(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I am not interested in internet dating, or the people on this site. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry)
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist tore through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5867) - you deserved it (486)
On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7126) - you deserved it (808)
On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17684) - you deserved it (1667)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14215) - you deserved it (4122)
On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17861) - you deserved it (2062)
On 02/05/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by CaityLovesBo - United States (Washington)
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (2062)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (5496)
On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25016) - you deserved it (1937)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (4133)
On 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Username - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5664) - you deserved it (913)
On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (1763)
On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor - United States (California)
Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6890) - you deserved it (8844)
On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21685) - you deserved it (2261)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad in her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19067) - you deserved it (1477)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (1654)
On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)
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