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Aleys

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Aleys
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 267
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Aleys : I'm 18, blonde, and very sarcastic. I spend most of my time with my mock trial team. I absolutely hate blonde jokes. I love traveling and am originally from the Netherlands.

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Aleys's favorite FMLs

Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML

Today, I've been waiting for a very important document in the mail. It has been two months. I reviewed my application and realized I forgot to put a mailing address down. FML

#21081681
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (16961)

On 03/08/2014 at 9:15pm - misc - by AmericanAlien (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (5199)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, after much debate I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML

#21024170
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (8563)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:49am - misc - by madib33 (woman) - United States

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (31454)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33569) - you deserved it (3065)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

#20997702
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49387) - you deserved it (4283)

On 12/19/2013 at 1:13am - love - by hot_friend (woman) - United States

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

#20978799
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46585) - you deserved it (4990)

On 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm - love - by rock'n roller (man) -

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
101 comments

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

#20974690
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36488) - you deserved it (3267)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (6806)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50571) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (3022)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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