![[fr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2386) - you deserved it (33524)
On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9063) - you deserved it (36922)
On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18116) - you deserved it (44357)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34087) - you deserved it (56879)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53032) - you deserved it (3797)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46852) - you deserved it (12766)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14730) - you deserved it (33941)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42659) - you deserved it (15207)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (1735)
On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10580) - you deserved it (29662)
On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (40233)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (4818)
On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
