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Alexwmiller

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Alexwmiller

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  • Number of visits : 260
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Alexwmiller's page activity

Visits<b>AngelSpit</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 1:30pm

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Alexwmiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12061) - you deserved it (25698)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (52438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10018) - you deserved it (54345)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (5087)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31631) - you deserved it (4917)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (5221)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

#18968605
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30500) - you deserved it (8675)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36459) - you deserved it (3401)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43469) - you deserved it (8657)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14000) - you deserved it (36161) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37741) - you deserved it (7608)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11858) - you deserved it (44874)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML

#2963436
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6663) - you deserved it (52715)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by jonnyc - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72457) - you deserved it (5365)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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