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Alexis_alese

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Alexis_alese

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  • Number of visits : 376
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Alexis_alese's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:05pm<b>kaengle</b> - the 02/28/2011 at 11:39pm

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Alexis_alese's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML

#17271293
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (5315)

On 07/26/2011 at 7:19pm - kids - by slappedright (woman) - United States (California)

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

#15166184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17624) - you deserved it (83181)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (4603)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

#15143494
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11825) - you deserved it (37063)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47719) - you deserved it (3791)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

#15133415
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44574) - you deserved it (11784)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by newlywed - United States (Utah)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (3113)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45462) - you deserved it (19081)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (32157)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

#15031615
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (15761)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I go to a small private Christian college, the academic dean came up to me and asked me to put some old records on CD, since I have a record player that can do that. I had to listen to eight records of old students from the 1970's singing bible thumper Christian hippie music. FML

#15026784
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (8812)

On 02/18/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by Shodan2112 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML

#15026564
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (4847)

On 02/18/2011 at 9:47am - misc - by ihavenothing - United States (Texas)

Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML

#15025118
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (19055)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by thestudent (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML

#18
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81218) - you deserved it (15741)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:28am - love - by Anonymous -



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