AlexisDeLuz

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Offline (the 02/09/2016 at 5:29am)

AlexisDeLuz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 802
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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AlexisDeLuz's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of AlexisDeLuz's badges

AlexisDeLuz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Health

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

by what the FUCK / 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

by cestquoicebordel?? / 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm / France / Love

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

by lizzie1833 / 03/17/2012 at 10:16am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

by ???? / 01/25/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Health

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 6:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

by Smokey9 / 07/25/2011 at 11:12am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

by hornyloser / 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at the age of 17, I had my first kiss with the girl I've liked for over a year. However, it was a stage kiss and the girl has made it clear that she finds me repulsive. FML

by Username / 04/30/2011 at 4:51am / United Kingdom (London) / Love