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AlexisDeLuz

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 5:52am) | Search for a member

AlexisDeLuz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 392
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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AlexisDeLuz's FML badges

50 favourites

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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AlexisDeLuz's favorite FMLs

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

#20024282
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (5997)

On 08/16/2012 at 10:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32091) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2881)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (5433)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2117)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (3134)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

#19293168
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27940) - you deserved it (4791)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (3660)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

#18904758
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (5916)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

#18230323
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/12/2011 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (6861)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (56551)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15642) - you deserved it (63983)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the age of 17, I had my first kiss with the girl I've liked for over a year. However, it was a stage kiss and the girl has made it clear that she finds me repulsive. FML

#15987403
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36921) - you deserved it (4088)

On 04/30/2011 at 4:51am - misc - by Username - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38120) - you deserved it (9058)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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