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AlexisDeLuz

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AlexisDeLuz

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  • Number of visits : 330
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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AlexisDeLuz's favorite FMLs

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28903) - you deserved it (10967)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (5808)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34679) - you deserved it (4867)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56289) - you deserved it (7927)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42217) - you deserved it (6160)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (2092)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54684) - you deserved it (14385)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46331) - you deserved it (7919)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36127) - you deserved it (3386)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (3386)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9907) - you deserved it (20772)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (6833)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25890) - you deserved it (2319)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)



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