AlexisCrystine

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Offline (the 08/28/2016 at 9:44pm)

AlexisCrystine

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AlexisCrystine
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 587
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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AlexisCrystine's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 8:27am<b>DavidX</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:11am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:22am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:51pm<b>ronberg</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:17am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:20am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:11am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:00pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:41am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:06pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:54pm<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:33pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:57pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:40pm<b>VectorFields</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:21am<b>Pizzadude43897</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:51pm

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:27pm

AlexisCrystine's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of AlexisCrystine's badges

AlexisCrystine's favorite FMLs

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

by facefuckedguy / 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

by Female Struggles / 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

by fuck florida / 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

by unlovedmommy / 05/08/2014 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

by shabowbow / 03/27/2014 at 2:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

by Punphmelch / 03/26/2014 at 4:45am / Australia (South Australia) / Animals