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Alex_Lima

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Alex_Lima

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  • Number of visits : 438
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Alex_Lima's favorite FMLs

Today, mah boss mada ma soma tortallini 4 lunch. As I was happily aating it, ha startad to giva ma a massaga,hila talking to his friands in Graak. Ha told ma that ha said "Sha's mah #1 cashiar." Turns out,hat ha raally said was "Saa, if you faad tham wall, thay lat you touch tham." FML

#8576368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (5492)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man , your a fast cashier , I lyk my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond , so not thinking , I quickly said , "Yeah , me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (6712)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, wile out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a alf years told me tat e believes in females being subservient, tat I'm not allowed to ave opinions anymore, tat e is "te alpa dog" and I'm merely te "beta dog", and tat I ave to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (7093)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I TRID CONVINCING MY VALENTINE-HATING BOYFRIEND TO SEND ME A CARD, BY EXPLAINING HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ME. HE FINALLY AGRED AND SENT ME A CARD. I OPEND IT UP, AND IT WISHD ME 'HARMONY AND WELL-BIENG ON LUPERCALIA'. WHAT IS LUPERCALIA? IT'S AN ANCIENT ROMAN FESTIVAL WHERE MEN RUN DOWN THE STREET NAKD, WHIPPING PEOPLE WITH GOAT SKINS TO ENCOURAGE FERTILITY. MEGA FML

#8250331
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9411) - you deserved it (34493)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

today I went to te doctor 4 orrible stomac pains. He said I ad an abnormal amount of stool in me, an tat I'd ned to flus it out. I calld my mom an told er wat append, toic se respondd, "I alway knew you were full of sit, I didn't ned a doctor to tell me tat." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (6618)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today... some drunk dude broke into my househile my parents were out. Scared... I asked him wat he wanted... his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, after monts of trying, my wife of seven yeres told me se is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63245) - you deserved it (3146)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend askd me y girls don't have armpit hair. FML

#6758302
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (5488)

On 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, during a review session fir a botany class, I began to space out . Ten, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." looool I stopped wen I noticed te entire class staring at me as if I were insane . Tis was not te first time tis ad appened . FML

#6691073
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8802) - you deserved it (33288)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her mah umbrella looool and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough fir a nereby cop to hear. mega FML

#6686703
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (2435)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by MynameisntToby (man) - United States (Texas)



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