Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AlexKing17

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

AlexKing17

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 319
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AlexKing17 : Student, taking my A-levels; History, Maths, Physics, Computing. I like to read, play video games, go out with friends and relax whenever I have spare time in between A-levels and part time work.

AlexKing17's page activity

Visits<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:16pm<b>lokland</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:30pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:05pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:57pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:05pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:17am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:03am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 9:20am<b>toowie</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:02am<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:52pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:44pm<b>fandoms_unite</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:43pm<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:18pm<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Sierra7211</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:57pm<b>blcksocks</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:32pm

AlexKing17's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of AlexKing17's badges

AlexKing17's favorite FMLs

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (2887)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (2586)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (3274)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (6271)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34250) - you deserved it (6958)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (3366)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (4706)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36333) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42499) - you deserved it (5697)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (7391)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35536) - you deserved it (3425)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: