Alert

Search for a member

Alert

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 962
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Alert : Name's Falon.
I like coffee.
Get at me.

Alert's page activity

Visits<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 1:07pm<b>brady88</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:35pm<b>cvcs1</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 10:32am<b>bri5083</b> - the 01/20/2012 at 10:39pm<b>SportsFanForLife</b> - the 01/08/2012 at 2:15am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 2:29am<b>Garyy</b> - the 12/12/2011 at 10:17pm<b>paco1021</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 6:38pm<b>gfonz</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 7:04am<b>Surferbro</b> - the 11/29/2011 at 9:24pm<b>Julieannx3</b> - the 11/27/2011 at 7:37pm<b>alexloveyou</b> - the 11/27/2011 at 6:20pm<b>Jimboom</b> - the 11/24/2011 at 4:19pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 11/23/2011 at 8:32am<b>Joshoa123</b> - the 11/20/2011 at 5:51pm<b>every1luvsboners</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 9:57am<b>sleepindevil</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 2:12am<b>thekewlest69</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 12:35am

Alert's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of Alert's badges

Alert's favorite FMLs

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids