Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alchemist_21

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

Alchemist_21

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Alchemist_21 : Future aerospace engineer.
Current otaku (sort of).
Dog lover.

Alchemist_21's page activity

Visits<b>mikester10723</b> - 18 hours ago<b>flakesObran</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:28pm<b>CrazyOtaku</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:57am<b>FoTheWin</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:27pm<b>dragonrider1959</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:54am<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 7:49pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:26pm<b>Feijai</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:22am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:10am<b>orphanclubber</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:49pm<b>nadene52</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:21pm<b>MinionMadness</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:44pm<b>AJDCFA</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 7:00am<b>Azalea18</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:09am<b>hannahmae1357</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:39pm<b>BlindOptimism7</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:54pm<b>RhedRhexis</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:56pm

Alchemist_21's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Alchemist_21's badges

Alchemist_21's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36403) - you deserved it (10603)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15467) - you deserved it (34505)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (4456)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36422) - you deserved it (6852)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49170) - you deserved it (21252)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (49915)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (9924)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46909) - you deserved it (6318)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37797) - you deserved it (20068)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52076) - you deserved it (4707)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44166) - you deserved it (4831)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (55600)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51028) - you deserved it (5071)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: