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AlbertTheSlayer

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AlbertTheSlayer
  • Town/Country : Oregon, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 44
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About AlbertTheSlayer : I'm a nerdy music junky

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AlbertTheSlayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (2175)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45177) - you deserved it (18505)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48799) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (94547)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41413) - you deserved it (8036)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54552) - you deserved it (9167)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (16751) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

#20579736
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (1198)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37570) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45613) - you deserved it (4127)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11437) - you deserved it (42768)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (3578)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (1957)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41859) - you deserved it (1459)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (7163)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)



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Monday 20 May 2013

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