About AlaskanRedhead : 21y/o Alaskan. I'm obsessed with my cat and I have no life.
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Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (3946)
On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (4389)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (24454)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by daninalani (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (27577)
On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm Bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (26876)
On 10/18/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (16268)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9140) - you deserved it (85404)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16613) - you deserved it (17666)
On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15161) - you deserved it (45863)
On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States
Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14166) - you deserved it (18822)
On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, it was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, and said: "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (10665)
On 06/14/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by SirPimPim (man) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)
Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (3548)
On 06/01/2010 at 12:35am - love - by AbFlab (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12036) - you deserved it (23954)
On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (2683)
On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom
Friday 24 May 2013
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