Alan2

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Offline (the 10/25/2014 at 7:24am)

Alan2

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2676
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alan2 : I love music more than anything. It's a release and it's how I connect with people. Also, House is pretty cool.

Alan2's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:33pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:21pm<b>coried91</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:47pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:12am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:57pm<b>WTheSlug</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 7:48pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:21am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:04pm<b>Bootrick</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 12:41pm<b>Blixamarkham</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 2:21am<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:43pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 2:43pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 5:45am<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:30am<b>lec17</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:53pm<b>friedchickenpie</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 4:23pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 1:54pm

Alan2's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Alan2's badges

Alan2's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

by Mrs. Teacher / 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

by hatemyluck / 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML

by tutusaurus / 08/28/2012 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

by anonya / 08/28/2012 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

by ihatemondays / 08/23/2012 at 2:15am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

by baffled / 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health