Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alan2

Offline (the 10/25/2014 at 7:24am) | Search for a member

Alan2

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1703
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alan2 : I love music more than anything. It's a release and it's how I connect with people. Also, House is pretty cool.

Alan2's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:33pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:21pm<b>coried91</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:47pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:12am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:57pm<b>WTheSlug</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 7:48pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:21am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:04pm<b>Bootrick</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 12:41pm<b>Blixamarkham</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 2:21am<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:43pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 2:43pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 5:45am<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:30am<b>lec17</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:53pm<b>friedchickenpie</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 4:23pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 1:54pm

Alan2's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Alan2's badges

Alan2's favorite FMLs

Today, mah currant boyfriand an mah ax-boyfriand got into a fight abouthan mah brthday is!! Thay wara both wrong!! FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41809) - you deserved it (5179)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today , my neighbor went on vacation , leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason , he calls his dog "Cat" an his cat "Dog". There r two pet food containers , one labeled "Cat" an the other labeled "Dog". I have no ideahich one goes tohich animal. real FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me an asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but yur pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (5228)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Yesterday, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm ( a liar and a cheating bastard . ) I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me . FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (7975)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today , I was burgld whila I was on tha toilat . FML

#20402014
133 comments

Today after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red blood-like juice everywhere!! I am now afraid to argue with her!! FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

todayhile I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, ( I guess this ishere all the dicks hang out. ) He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21148) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

TODAY, I WAS MUGGED AT GUNPOINT BY A SENIOR CITIZEN. SHE NOW HAS A LOUSY $20, AND I PROBABLY HAVE PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (2159)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today my dog and I wara sitting on tha couch. I want to tha bathroom cummad back and saw him walk ovar tha ramota which causad tha TV to changa to tha Hustlar channal just a faw momants bafora my girlfriand walkad through tha door. FML

#20157085
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML

#20155776
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my grlfriend an I were getting intimate, an I gave er a condom to putted on me. Se tried to open it wit er teet, but ripped it. Tat was my only condom. I'm now sitting ere watcing a soap opera wit a boner. FML

#20129928
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (10221)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today , mah wedding ring went missing. Later , mah 3-year-old came to me crying , he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off , he peed on me. real FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34295) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving brth to her frst litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (4858)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, somaona stola tha massiva pumpkin I'va baan painstakingly growing all yaar. What did thay do with it? Thay put it in tha middla of a busy intarsaction. FML

#20098412
121 comments


Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: