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Alan2

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Alan2

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 983
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alan2 : I love music more than anything. It's a release and it's how I connect with people. Also, House is pretty cool.

Alan2's page activity

Visits<b>itsalanis</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:21pm<b>coried91</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:47pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:12am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:57pm<b>WTheSlug</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 7:48pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:21am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:04pm<b>Bootrick</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 12:41pm<b>Blixamarkham</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 2:21am<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:43pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 2:43pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 5:45am<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:30am<b>lec17</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:53pm<b>friedchickenpie</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 4:23pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 1:54pm<b>fareith</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 6:49pm

Alan2's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Alan2's badges

Alan2's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52833) - you deserved it (9140)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53850) - you deserved it (3458)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50218) - you deserved it (8362)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56659) - you deserved it (3897)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50937) - you deserved it (8860)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45545) - you deserved it (6103)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50509) - you deserved it (10850)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (59880)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (6048)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (2995)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (9995)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38574) - you deserved it (7848)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47659) - you deserved it (3566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (5647)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)



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