Akuaneon

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Akuaneon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 682
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Akuaneon's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Akuaneon's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

by megean c.l. / 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

by frustrated / 01/13/2013 at 1:39am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

by gassy / 12/29/2012 at 4:32am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

by Ren / 12/28/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

by lingling / 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

by JPPUDLY / 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm / United States (New York) / Geek