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Today, I was trying to write an essay for school while sleep deprived. After getting 7 pages into it, I crashed face-first onto the keyboard and slept for 20 minutes. When I woke up, my essay was nothing more than a blank document. My face had been pressing the Backspace button the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you totally deserved it (18254)
On 11/10/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by IHateYouBackspace (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting busy when all of the sudden he paused and looked me dead in the eye. He said "stop," then farted, followed by, "hammer time." And resumed the pounding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11316) - you totally deserved it (2440)
On 11/06/2009 at 10:22am - intimacy - by mobley - United States
Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you totally deserved it (3857)
On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each others company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8698) - you totally deserved it (1960)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4180) - you totally deserved it (12047)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47586) - you totally deserved it (3446)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)
Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you totally deserved it (2794)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9046) - you totally deserved it (30375)
On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9395) - you totally deserved it (21630)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you totally deserved it (14116)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10647) - you totally deserved it (27477)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire 2 acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38166) - you totally deserved it (2053)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by overthehorizon (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36784) - you totally deserved it (8436)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6187) - you totally deserved it (52436)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63162) - you totally deserved it (7634)
On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)
