Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Airborn0280

Offline (yesterday at 9:51pm) | Search for a member

Airborn0280

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 September 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3677
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Airborn0280 : I like long walks on the beach after smoking a Jay, Drawing, beautiful women, movies and video games

Airborn0280's page activity

Visits<b>firefighterbee</b> - yesterday at 1:28am<b>Kyle1dc</b> - yesterday at 7:13pm<b>ironhead</b> - yesterday at 5:14pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:57pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:26pm<b>jimsonjamss</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:58pm<b>ceilingfaniscool</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:47pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:20pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Redoxx</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:53pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:59am<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Marley_000</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:56am<b>thomcmoore</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Aurelian</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:23am<b>rob02</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:15am<b>bfsd42</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:39pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:33am

Airborn0280's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Airborn0280's badges

Airborn0280's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (7752)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (33802)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (13687)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49451) - you deserved it (4867)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18236) - you deserved it (48220)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (21373)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40363) - you deserved it (4852)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41288) - you deserved it (3753)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48313) - you deserved it (8267)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51215) - you deserved it (11154)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

#21155045
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53165) - you deserved it (4739)

On 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48990) - you deserved it (4382)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36318) - you deserved it (4291)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: