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AhouKaho's favorite FMLs
by fuckspellcheck / 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML
by brob56 / 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML
by wvugirl / 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML
by MollyMo / 03/21/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML
by EFFED4LIFE / 03/11/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
by collegegirl90 / 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Brad / 03/08/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML
by saltinawound / 03/05/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML
by hi / 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Noname / 02/28/2009 at 3:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML
by Judiee / 02/28/2009 at 5:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous