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AhouKaho's FML badges
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Why am I up so early?
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AhouKaho's favorite FMLs
Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML
by brob56 / 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML
by wvugirl / 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML
by MollyMo / 03/21/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML
by EFFED4LIFE / 03/11/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
by collegegirl90 / 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Brad / 03/08/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML
by saltinawound / 03/05/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML
by hi / 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Noname / 02/28/2009 at 3:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML
by Judiee / 02/28/2009 at 5:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…