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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1777
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Ahlph's page activity

Visits<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 7:52am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:53pm<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:14pm<b>joooanaaa</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:23am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:44am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:12pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:34pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Emelka</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:05am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:16pm<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:42pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:26am<b>dotalover</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 9:04am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 8:58pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:39am<b>casafudge</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 10:20pm

Fucked!<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 1:52pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:34pm

Ahlph's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ahlph's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

by jadakorn / 07/11/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

by KarlwithaK / 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Work

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML

by iwantpizza69 / 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

by iFail / 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous